The Daily Kindness Digest #1841

Nine Phrases of Kindness

If you use any of these 9 phrases every day, ‘your relationship is more successful’ than most.

Every relationship has its rough patches. But what really matters is how you and your partner interact on a regular basis.

I’ve found that the happiest couples don’t avoid conflict — they navigate it by speaking to each other with appreciation and respect. Unfortunately, I’ve seen a lot of marriages/relationships end due to poor communication and an unwillingness to change.

So, if you use any of these phrases you will experience some positive benefits:

1. “I appreciate your effort.”

It’s tempting to become overly focused on things you don’t like about your partner, and to point them out at every chance you get.

But it’s important to highlight the good in their actions. Happy couples express gratitude for each other’s efforts. It’s a great way to make everyone feel valued.

2. “I like you.”

The healthiest couples don’t just love each other, they like each other, too.

Loving someone is an intense feeling of affection; liking is about seeing them for who they are and acknowledging the attributes you enjoy about them.

3. “Help me better understand this.”

We all have different upbringings, vulnerabilities, values and beliefs that shape how we think relationships should work.

If your partner reacts to a situation in a way that you don’t understand, telling them that you want to know them better is key to resolving conflict and bonding at a deeper level.

4. “I’m listening…”

Disagreements are inevitable, but it’s important to still support each other through active listening.

You have to be willing to suspend your desire to be “right” or to get your point across — long enough to hear and empathize with your partner’s perspective.

5. “I’m sorry.”

When things don’t go right or as planned, healthy couples know that both partners play a part in the situation.

Taking responsibility for our role in those conflicts — and genuinely apologizing — is critical to repairing rifts.

6. “I forgive you. Can you forgive me?”

Forgiveness is hard. It requires being vulnerable, letting go of something that caused you pain, and changing your feelings towards your partner.

Studies have shown that couples who practice forgiveness are more likely to enjoy longer, more satisfying relationships.

7. “I am committed to you.”

Being in a relationship is a choice. Reassuring your partner that you’re still choosing to be with them and to work through challenges will help create a sense of safety and stability.

8. “Let’s have some fun!”

If you can find humor (or playfully tease each other) during tense moments, your relationship might be stronger than you think.

The happiest couples are able to break tension and recalibrate the mood by finding room for an authentic smile, silly banter or a lighthearted joke.

9. “I love you.”

This one is simple but always worth reminding. Verbally expressing your romantic love for one another keeps the relationship alive. And when you say it, make sure you truly mean it.

~ Dr. Cortney S. Warren