Reflections on Relationships

by Orly Wahba

It’s no coincidence that immediately following last month’s theme of courage we move into the theme of relationships. Relationships are all about being courageous enough to be vulnerable, to let someone in and to be willing to be honest and engage in dialogue even at times when it can be uncomfortable. While we often think of relationships as our connection with someone else, I have found that to begin to even discuss relationships we must start closer to home.

As many of you know, just one week ago I took the courageous plung and moved away from my home, everything I know, my family to live in Jerusalem for the year.

I can say that in less than a week I have seen a complete shift in one of the most important relationships we can nurture – the relationship with ourselves. Being on my own for the first time has provided me with the opportunity to get to know things about myself that I never knew before. I thought I knew myself pretty well and it’s been a pleasant surprise to learn something new with each passing day; a strength and determination I never tapped into before. The more we nurture the relationship we have with ourselves, the more likely we will be prepared to nurture other relationships that come into our lives.

For me, this move was about many things but one of the main things was to focus on building a life. It was about moving onto the next chapter of my life and building a long lasting relationship with one person who I hope to start a family with. I don’t know whether I will find him here or not, but that’s not the point. I’ve come to see that by simply fostering the relationship I have with myself, giving myself the time to breathe, to enjoy life and the simple moments – I can more readily allow others things to enter my life that may not have had the chance to enter before.

Yes, I’m a workaholic, but that’s only because I don’t see what I do as work. I can honestly say I NEVER worked a day in my life! The things I’ve always chosen to do with my time have been things that are so purposeful and that I am extremely passionate about. So it’s natural that I want to continuously give to those passions with no regard for time or my own personal space.

I haven’t even been in Jerusalem for a week and already I have been out and about at night meeting people, engaging in fun activities more times than I have taken a night off in NY for months upon months. The strange thing is that my productivity has only increased. It’s when we give to ourselves just a bit that we are at our strongest and when we are at our strongest – WOW what we can accomplish! Plus the best part of it all is that when we breathe and allow ourselves to simply live in moments without an agenda or plan – magic ensues. If we aim to control every aspect of our lives we limit the possibilities of the extraordinary from emerging. Relationships are not about control; they are about letting go of the control, trusting more, having faith more and following your heart more than your mind.

So to all of you out there – take the time for you. Nurture your relationship with yourself. Love you. Treat yourself well. Your best self will thank you for it and as a result you just may find that the relationships you’ve been seeking out in your life will magically find you. Here’s to letting go and trusting the process. Wishing us all an exciting adventure ahead. One filled with love, laughter, joy, happiness, wonder, excitement, passion, purpose and the most amazing sense of serenity. Thank you for being a part of my journey…

In the words of my all time favorite Billy Joel song, “Slow down you crazy child…you better cool it off before you burn it out. You got so much to do and only so many hours in a day…When will you realize Vienna waits for you…”